Change in direction

Hey there, 

It's been a while. But while I've been a way I've been thinking. I've come to the conclusion that, if you know what you want to do with your life, you're lucky. If you enjoy what you are doing, you're lucky. It's hard to know where you want to go and what you want to do in life. I've been thinking about it a lot lately.

My friends always say I can do whatever I want to do. How do you pin point what it is that you want to do though? 

I wish we could try everything before we make this life changing decision. But unfortunately this is impossible. You have to rely on your gut. Get to know yourself (that feels difficult sometimes, right?). 

I always have the questions in the back of my head saying. What if I'm not good at this? What if I hate this? What if... What if... What if...

But really we just need to have faith in ourselves. So what if it doesn't work out? We can move on and try something else. It's all a part of finding ourselves. We should never settle just because you don't think you deserve to have it better? Why don't you deserve to have it better? Why should you settle? Why shouldn't you reach for your dream? If you doubt your happiness, don't settle. Whether it's a guy, a girl, a job... Don't settle, you deserve to be happy! 

Everyone deserves to be happy! 

I feel like I'm here to help people. I want to help you. I'm there for my friends what ever the issue. I'm thinking of being a part time agony aunt... Try me :)

Divergent... Trilogy... OH...MY... GOD!

*spoiler alert!*

Honestly if you haven't read the books go read them now! 

NOW, what are you still doing here? 

(Geena that means you, don't read this until you read the books!)

The best set of books I have read, taking nothing away from the hunger games I have a deep love for that trilogy, like crazy intense love. But I have read Divergent more resently and I honestly just can't get it out of my head... It's nearly Christmas and I'm sat here listening to Christmas songs trying to drag myself out of the black hole in my life that is Divergent.

All I keep thinking is how I wish I could be in it, how what if Tris hadn't sacrificed herself in the end... What if what if!?

Plus I can't believe she died! I cried. No word of a lie. I was gob-smacked! No way did she get past the death serum to be shot and killed! I thank The Lord that she managed to release the memory serum else I don't know what I would have done! Gone crazy probably. Although in respect of good literature no sane  author could have killed a character like Tris and have her fail in her mission at the same time. 

And, Tris what a character she is! Her whole story has me craving to be a better, braver and more open minded person. She has me wishing I could walk in her footsteps and do what she does, with her bravery and her selflessness. 

I know it's literature, and I'm sure many people could call me crazy for getting so involved in three books. Honestly, when I was sat in the cinema ready to watch Catching Fire, the trailer for divergent came on, I was interested and even more so when it said 'based on the best selling novel'. I turned to my friend and said I' need to come watch that! And I need to reed the book. I need to read that first' 

Now I've got so obsessed that I've bought two friends the books for Christmas after telling them that they just HAVE to read them! 

I'm still finding myself thinking of different parts... Still having the same reactions over and over in my head, like 'Oh My God no way did that just happen' or 'now way did she just do that'.

When Tris' mum gets her self killed to save Tris, sobbed like a baby. But then when we meet David and I don't know about you but I always found myself thinking he loved her. But for him to shoot Tris, what a bastard... And he gets to forget that he killed her and Tobais has to walk around seeing him knowing that he killed the girl he loved. So unfair... I totally understand why he went back to Chicago. 

Speaking of Tobais, I never really settled on a feeling for his mother... I disliked and distrusted her just as Tris did but could she really mean well towards her son. I tried to put myself in her shoes but couldn't get there, I couldn't imagine abandoning my son and faking my death... Who does that?!   

I just wish i'd found the books earlier. I also hope that the film is as good of a representation as The Hunger Games was. The Hunger Games blew me away with how close the film was to how I saw it in my head as I read it! 

The ups and downs of the books were crazy and I want to meet Veronica Roth, Shake her hand, hug her, be a crazy fan girl, be her friend, get her to teach me to write a novel like her! She is amazing! A new idol of mine! 

But enough ass kissing for now...

On to my pathetically unrealistic dream of being in one of the films... I know how laughable it is... I'm not an actress, but I'm just so in love with the story that I wish I was just so I could be apart of this master piece. I know as a fan I am and that if it wasn't so successful it wouldn't be a film and blah blah blah... But again I wish I had found the books earlier so I could have been apart of the fandom that made the films feasible. 

Anyway enough of my blabberings. I could quite easily keep going round in circles finding different things to say but you all know what happens in the books... Still though OH MY GOD... I still can't get over the ending... I want to know what would happen if he hadn't died... Did it even cross Veronica Roth's mind to not kill her or was that always her intention... Plus what would have happened if Tris had lived... Would they have got a happily ever after? Would thy have stayed at the compound or would they have returned to the city? I'm swimming with questions!!!!

Goodbye summer!

So I'm laid on my bed with dripping wet hair... It's cloudy outside and all I can think of is wearing a cozy jumper and getting a steamy hot chocolate in Starbucks.
Where did summer go? I'm staring at summer clothes and all I want is jumpers and boots. There starting to invade the shops again just proving my point that summers gone, I keep seeing lovely ankle boots and thinking oh they would look lovely with... Then I find myself getting so excited about the prospect of winter. Maybe I'm the only one but I can't wait. I can't wait to be putting my feet in to some comfy warm boots and then digging through my scarves and bundling uo to bracing the elements. Or just staying in, in front of the fire with a book or watching a film.
So yes I'm still venturing out with bare legs, mainly just to show off my holiday tan. But it's happening. As I flick though my latest collection of magazines seeing all the hits from the latest fashion weeks, the beautiful fur coats and designer EVERYTHING!
Albeit I can't afford, well, any of it, but I keep my eye on everything just so I know the latest styles, blah blah blah. But its more so I know where I want to go to drool over every that I've seen on the glossy pages.
I'm allowed to dream of the day that I can finally afford to fill my wardrobe with everything designer, right? Each different season new stuff!